sufficient

on rest

I came back to Atlanta after Christmas, instead of going to DC for a few days, in order to rest, to actually be refreshed headed into next semester. I really have no idea how to rest. I spent yesterday reading, doing crossword puzzles, took a walk, got my haircut. Basically nothing all day long. And yet I was still a bit tired when I went to bed, but I couldn't sleep.

I remember telling my community group shortly after Thanksgiving that I felt like I'd been tired since August. I would just like to find a balance between the nothingness of summer and winter breaks and the crazy-mad busy-ness of the school year.

I feel like I have to do something in order to find rest. That's some backward thinking, I realize.

Kate and I were talking about it the other day and she pointed out that's it's always either one extreme or the other. Things are either crazy and I'm exhausted or there's nothing going on. There's rarely any balance, which she said was part of our struggle on this earth. Makes sense to me.

I do know that I will never find true rest in this life. I suppose that's a good thing- it certainly makes me long more for heaven and for Christ's return. Though I'm not sure that's a particularly God-glorifying reason for wanting such things. "Jesus come back, so that I can get some sleep." Hmm... I know that's not really what I'm asking, but it seems silly. I do look forward to that true Sabbath rest promised in Hebrews.

So for now, I suppose I should simply enjoy this next week off that I have and not beat myself up over my inability to rest. That certainly seems counter-productive to my intentions.

posted by CP @ 9:17 AM 0 thoughts